We're talking Hurt and Offence. What's the difference and What do we do?

I know from experience that words can bring hope. I also know, from experience that they can bring pain. Words can be like arrows aimed at our heart. They can penetrate and embed themselves and really, really hurt.

Have you ever heard of the art of "Arrow Bouncing?"

Also, do you think there is a difference between a hurt and an offence? Or do you think being hurt and being offended are both just a feeling. And, What’s the answer? What do we do if we’re feeling hurt, particularly by someone’s words or if we’ve hurt someone else with our words? What do we do if we’re offended or someone else has taken offence because of something we’ve said? More importantly what should we do, for the good of all involved, including ourselves!

Hurt and offence, I believe are definitely two very different things.

Hurts, I liken to arrows. They get thrown. They land. I feel the sting. Right in my heart and, it hurts. It’s a very real feeling that I feel. Offence though, is my choice - to leave that arrow in there. 

I have learned the hard way that to leave an arrow in there, to leave that hurt to fester in my heart and choose to be offended is not a good thing because offence only ever led me to a whole lot more of ugliness. Like anger, even rage, unforgiveness, bitterness, resentment or it can even drive me to harmful substances.

None of that is pretty.

Arrows can come in many forms, not just words by the way. They can also be actions or even inactions, like 
broken promises or being excluded or being bullied. Some of these arrows can be intentionally aimed right at you, like in the form of some kind of abuse or they can be completely unintentional like a trauma from a tragedy, like the unexpected death of close loved one or destruction of a relationship or even a disappointment. Something that just didn’t go the way you’d hoped or planned.

Hurts … happen. 

If you live on this planet (especially with other people) being hurt is inevitable. Whatever the arrow though, they are bounce-able.

Speaking of arrows being bounce-able, have you ever seen those bouncy blow up clowns that have a section of sand in their base? I remember them from the 80s. You basically punch them over and over and as hard as you can and even if the top of the clown hits the floor it still just bounces right back up again. #mylife. Yep.

I think life is a bit like one of those blow up bouncy clowns.

The punches are like the arrows - hurts that hit hard. The only reason that clown is able to keep on getting up though, punch after punch, blow after blow is because of the sand in the base of that clown. Moral of this story? You gotta have a good foundation!

So, what is your foundation? The foundation that supports your good ol’ 'get back up’ life attitude. What is the ultimate strength that’s gonna get you back up on your feet, stronger than ever, despite life’s blows and hard knocks?

What would happen if one really sharp arrow of hurt comes flying towards one of those blow up bouncy clowns and it lands. It doesn’t bounce. Instead, it pierces and penetrates, deep into the heart of that blow up clown. What would happen? Well, if you throw an arrow at a blow up clown, it deflates. Right?

Gosh. How many times in the past, I have felt so deflated because of words that have hit me hard and wounded me deep.

Can you relate?

I hope you are encouraged today as I share steps that I’ve taken to enable me to become an arrow bouncer. I trust that you can become one too.

Listen to the episode "Arrow Bouncing" here.

Enjoy. Be blessed.

April May x